This is my last time talking about relationship. Really, last time. One of my friends pointed out earlier this week that my mood was largely depended on the guys in my life. Sadly it sounds, but i can’t deny it. Because of that, I sensed the need to reevaluate my life and the perhaps even the purpose of my existance. Should it be finding the man of my life, indeed part of it.
I’ve decided to dedicate this entry as my last Love Entry where I shall offer my final words of my relationship and expectation in terms of relationship. To be honest, I miss him, more so, I miss having someone around, cuddling, kissing, and making-out and calling.
Despite my effort of trying to recover, I miss him ALOT. But there’s nothing I can possibly do to improve the situation or lessen my pain. And the saddest thing is I can’t let it go because thinking of him makes me smile, remembering our time together makes my heart bloom. I have to admit, I had such a wonderful time with him at the end of the semester. There was no drama, only sweet moments. The thing I realized: until I find another guy to replace him, there’s no possible way to erase him or even put him in the back of my head.
I hate when I look at my phone every 5 minutes expecting a call or a text from him. I hate when I go on his websites 20 times a day and hoping to see some changes or difference. I hate when I talked to other people about him and the chest pain I experienced. I hate when I tell myself there’s still hope after all. I hate when my mind is occupied by him. I hate myself being this way, falling for him.
Therefore, Lord, Father, have mercy on me. Help me to stop thinking of him, help me to cut myself out from this relationship. Don’t I deserve true love? Don’t I deserve someone who actually cares and around? Lord, show me the way. Lord, lead my path. Lord, pour your grace upon me. Lord, I need you. I need you. Rescue me, please.
