In the face of unending trials and tribulations

As Christians, how do we deal with unending trials and tribulations. What do you do and where do you turn when you are heart is broken, your dream is shattered, and you hope becomes hopeless. We question is God still there? We ponder has He heard my desperate cry? We ask does He still love me?

Yes, yes and yes. This is the answer I want to give myself. But at this point, I don’t even have the strength to convince myself that everything will be okay. I here introduce a song that has accompanied me in times beyond my control.

Come let us worship and bow down,                                                                                let us kneel before the Lord, our God, our Maker;                                                      For He is our God, and we are the people of His pasture, and the sheep of His hand, just the sheep of His hand.

To be honest, I am in no mood to worship the One who throws all the difficulty upon my shoulder and we asks me to endure and trust in times of darkness. But this is what God is telling me to do now.

Law, lawyers, and justice

I assure you no one likes waiting.

Sometimes I question how the law schools make their admission decisions, how bias each individual decision is.  I am sure test scores and GPA are vital, but seriously there are numerous factors that contribute to your ability to be a good lawyer. Look, I’m not talking about a succesful lawyer, if that’s what law schools are trying to produce. Then I’d rather do something else.

Let’s be honest, you look around the practice lawyers out there. How many of them are purely money driven and reputation driven, that they totally abandon the joy of law practitioners. They forgot what it means to fight for justice with their knowledge. And these are preciesly the successful lawyers prestigous law schools claim to have produced.

Practicing law is not a competition. Those ambitious and competitive law students are exactly the contraditory to this idea. Law schools, please please think about the future of our society and our people. Being fully accomplished before law schools does not mean such individual has a passion for social and economic justice; on the other hand, an ordinary perspective students may well be the shining star of society later on. Law schools, it’s all about taking a risk at who you select and who you offer your admission acceptance. So I beg you, put your eye-sight at somewhere further down the road.  Think about how many well-hated, well-despised lawyers you have produced year after year!!!

John 16:33

This is one of my favorite verses.

These things I have spolen to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.

when I looked around looking for verses, passages and songs that could comfort my heart and bring peace to my turmoiled soul, I came to this well-known and well-loved verse in the gospel of John. The Lord said, be of good courage, be of good cheer, because I, the Lord your God, the Holy One of Isarael has overcome the world. There is nothing impossible for Him, His power and dominion are beyond my comprehension.

Yes, this is my God whom I love with all my heart. This is my God who loves me more than His own. This is my God who brings miracles day after day. This is my God who listens, hears, comforts, loves, and gives. This is my God who has overcome the world.

Because He Lives

…but greater still the calm assurance, this child can face uncertain days because He lives.

This line has comforted my heart so much in times like this. My heart sank, ached and hurt when I opened the letter. I nearly fainted in the elevator, couldn’t believe my eyes. God has taken away my “last resort” , my back-up plan. Now, I have nothing to fall back on. I am left here hanging, fully exposed to the next rounds of more pain and hurt.

This letter is not in my plan whatsoever. Out of all the schools I applied, I thought I would at least get into this one. However, this is the first rejection I received. Lord, where are you? Did you hear my cry? did you feel the brokeness of my heart? did you see my tears? Lord, where are you?

Out of deep desperation I am writing this post. Because I know He holds the future, and life is worth the living just because He lives. In the glimpse of seconds, I even had the thought of suicide. I truly came to the end of myself, there is no alternative, no turning back, no hope and no future. He reigns.Because He lives, I can face tomorrow. Because He lives, all fear is gone.

真的吗? 我还能这样活下去吗? 主, 你在哪里? 你把我丢在这里吗? 我一人承受不来. 我心痛的无法呼吸. I know I am inadequate, but I thought Lord, You would do the amazing work! Lord, I have trusted Your promise every step of the way, I have placed all my faith and strength in You. WHY?! WHY the rejection. 主, 你难道没有听见我的呼求吗? 主, 你没有感受到我的痛苦吗? 主, 你没有看见我的泪水吗? 主,你在哪里? 来救救我吧!